Friday, January 30, 2015

Hiero's Journey, Chapter by Chapter

From November 2012 to November 2014, your Humble Narrator devoted much of this blog to a chapter-by-chapter takedown of Sterling Lanier's campy, under-appreciated science-fantasy classic, Hiero's Journey. For those just discovering this timeless treasure of online criticism, and for those wanting to re-read the whole series (and the voices in my head tell me you're out there), I offer herewith a hyper-linked* table of contents:

Chapter One: Welcome to the seventy-fifth century. Also, Gorm the Bear bites evil S'nerg in the jahooblies.

Chapter Two: Flashback, with water weasels.

Chapter Three: Hiero's mutant foes have evil toys.

Chapter Three, Cont.: The Dweller in the Mist offers Hiero Unspeakable Sexytime

Chapter Four: A damsel-in-distress turns out to be an early draft of Foxy Brown.

Chapter Five: Luchare tells her story. Plus, the EUMs return, this time with a lightning gun.

Chapter Six: We spare a little pity for Chee-Chowk, the Hairy Howler Red Shirt.

Chapter Seven: There will be ruins, and giant lampreys.

Chapter Eight: In which we learn that the Catholic priesthood has changed a bit by the 75th century.

Chapter Eight, Cont.: Enter Aldo and his giant fish.

Chapter Nine: Brother Aldo brings out Captain Gimp. Lanier piles on the action scenes.

Chapter Nine, Cont.: Hiero and the Gimp trade insults with some pirates.

Chapter Ten: Ohio has become some sort of giant mutant nature preserve.

Chapter Ten, Cont.: Of necessity, there are dryads.

Chapter Eleven: The House has a good leer in Hiero's brain. 

Chapter Eleven, Cont.: The Going Rate is one golden torc. Also, our gang finds a mysterious bunker.

Chapter Twelve: Your humble narrator has an Infocom flashback. Will he be eaten by a grue?

Chapter Twelve, Concluded: Hiero plays Last Man Standing.

Afterword: Is HJ the first draft of D&D?


* Boy, there's a term I never see anymore. Yr. Hbl. Narr. is getting old.

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